You Begin To Love People Only When You Lose Them
by Anusmita
Summary: In the heat of a quarrel, Kagura yells at Sougo that she hates him and he should just go to hell. Unfortunately, soon after, Sougo is 'killed' in a fire. Kagura is devastated and blames herself for his death. Will she be able to piece herself together again? And will the Prince of the Planet of Sadists really die so easily? Read on to find out!


**You Begin To Love People Only When You Lose Them**

An Okita x Kagura Fanfiction

Wary passersby hastily moved out of the young girl's way, clearing a path for her. No one wished to be the next victim of her loaded umbrella. It was obvious that the 'Queen of Kabuki cho' was in a _really_ bad mood.

Kagura was certain that the day was one of the most annoying, no, aggravating days of her life. It had all begun in the morning, when Gin-chan, not wanting to eat egg over rice again, had blindly chucked it, causing it to land far too accurately on her head. Moreover, today was the end of the month and the idiotic perm-head hadn't even remembered about her salary. So, after grinding a few of his bones, she had set out for a walk. Ironically, this just annoyed her more. For one, the kids at the park refused to play 'kick-the-can' with her on account of her 'ruthlessness' and 'use of far too excessive force'. Next, the snacks store had absolutely no sukonbu left, worse, none of the other stores she visited had it either. Otae wasn't home either, so Kagura didn't have anyone to talk to. And now, she was marching down the street, swinging her umbrella and emitting a dark aura.

 _Nothing seems to be going for me today! I didn't get my salary, sukonbu and there's no one for me to talk with! Well, I haven't met that awful sadist yet, so that should the one good thing that has happened today… No, forget I thought that. The guy is freaking_ walking _towards me_ now _! The Universe sure has a grudge against me today, doesn't it?_

Okita Sougo was, simply put, bored. He had been assigned patrol duty in Kabuki cho and as usual, he did not have the slightest intention of carrying it out. It was futile planning to kill Hijikata, as the Mayo freak had gone to commissioner's office for some official discussion, blah blah.. So the most interesting thing he could think of doing now was fighting with China. And by luck, she was right in front of him, a small distance away. And she looked like she was seriously annoyed… _Well, it would be fun to annoy her some more, let's see how she reacts._ And with that thought in mind, he walked towards her.

When they saw the red haired girl and the man with sandy hair stand face to face, all pedestrians and commuters alike immediately vacated the road. The people were all too familiar with the duo's fights and how destructive they could get. Especially when one of them seemed to be in a pretty bad mood.

"Ah, China girl, what are you doing? You're scaring the citizens with that monstrously ugly face of yours, you know?"

" Sadist, just shut the hell up before I blast you into smithereens. I am really not in a good mood today, and I really do not want to see your face!"

"You really hurt me, China. At least my face is tons handsomer than yours. How do you even manage to see it every single morning? Anyway, I should arrest you for breaking a police officer's heart, you know."

"I DON"T BELIEVE YOU EVEN _HAVE_ A HEART, YOU SADIST!"

And they went at each other, hammer and tongs. Sougo practically sliced through a few buildings, slashing at the china girl who leaped and dodged about, attacking just as fiercely with her umbrella, blasting quite a few roofs in the process. As usual, they were matched evenly, though their attacks were way more destructive than before, especially Kagura's. (As we already have seen, she was in a bad mood.)

Sougo was definitely enjoying himself, this was so much more interesting when compared to patrol duty. He grinned ;Kagura wasn't at her total best, she was so annoyed that she often forgot not to give any openings at all. He might just win today's fight…

Kagura yelled and charged blindly, brandishing her parasol. Sougo ducked, feinted and coolly tripped her up, ending the fight with a slash."Looks like I finally won, China. But really, it's pitiful for you to lose like this…"

" DAMN! I swear I'll smash your face next time!"

"Sore about losing? Face it, China. You're a disgrace as an opponent."

"I hate you, you Sadist! Why don't you just go to hell!"

Fortunately, though, before their fight could drag out any longer, Gin grabbed their collars and dragged both of them away from the ruins of what once were houses, markets and a road.

Sougo listened, bored as Hijikata gave the Shinsengumi a lecture about their new mission to bust a hideout of Joui patriots, who were in fact manufacturing bombs and ammunition. The Shinsengumi was to raid their nest, arrest all of them and also to get rid of the bombs and whatnot safely. After all, it was essential that they weren't taken out by the bombs themselves.

Not that Sougo really cared. Flags of death always hovered about him, silly toys like bombs wouldn't kill him. At least not until he succeeded in killing Hijikata-san. _But heck, China just told me to go die… Oi, why am I bothered by that? As if I'll obey her… Still, she could be more subservient, I beat her, didn't I? Well, in any case, I can't believe that what that loudmouthed brat said is still bothering me…_

Still in a grumpy mood, Sougo got into a Shinsengumi car and pulled on his mask as the cars sped to their destination.

BANG! KABOOM!

Hijikata winced as the ammunition, piled up in the hideout went up in flames with noises like a wild beast. He sliced through the enemies in front of him, desperately trying to find a way out. They could not die like this.

The Shinsengumi had successfully busted the headquarters of the Joui patriots and had cornered them into their warehouse, where, unknown to them, most of the ammunition was stored. One of rebels, possibly someone who had an exceedingly strong death wish, had quietly dropped a lighted match beside the barrels filled with explosives, causing the whole lot to begin burning. Worst of all, there was only one way in or out and it was surrounded by flames.

"IS EVERYONE OUT OF THE FIRE?!" The demon vice commander yelled, narrowly dodging a flaming beam falling from the roof, staggering out of the fire himself. Pulling himself up, he did a quick survey of everyone in front of him; Kondou, Yamazaki, Saitou, Tetsu, Kamiyama, Seizou…. Wait, where the hell was Sougo?

Suddenly, there was a terrified scream from the heart of the fire. Hijikata felt like screaming himself when he saw Sougo's figure, silhouetted against the flames, still clutching his katana, only for that back to vanish forever as the flames roared, engulfing the building, burning the night sky a bloody red. Later in the morning, when the flames were finally put out, the firefighters could find no trace of the Shinsengumi captain, Okita Sougo, except for a mass of charred flesh and a severed hand gripping the broken hilt of a katana.

Kondou buried his head in his hands as tears rolled down his cheek. "Sougo… I can't believe he's gone…What kind of a lousy general am I, that I can't even save the life of a single soldier?" Hijikata could only remain silent, after all, what words were left to be said? The sadist had just left them like that, leaving a painful wound forever. Maybe he was having fun watching from hell, there was no way he would go to heaven. Though he could finally stop worrying about dying any second now and live a much more peaceful life, Hijikata couldn't believe, himself, that he wanted Sougo back. But that wouldn't happen. He and the entire Shinsengumi simply had to accept it. The irritating sadist they all cursed so much was gone and the least they could do now was to give him a decent funeral.

With a heavy heart, he left to make the arrangements. And the sad, shocked faces of Yamazaki, Saitou and the rest he saw while leaving, just made him sadder.

Meanwhile, at the Yorozuya office, Gin put down the phone slowly, looking like an old, old man. Kagura and Shinpachi stared at their Gin-chan, unable to understand how the man's behavior had changed so drastically after the phonecall ended. The silver perm head was still not looking at them. Nervous and worried, Kagura called out, " Hey, Gin-chan, who was it that called? Was it bad news or has …"

"I…Sougo-kun is dead. That was Hijikata inviting us to his funeral tomorrow."

"What! It can't be! There's no way Okita-san would lose to somebody in a fight or anything…"

" It was an accident. He was trapped in a burning warehouse. They haven't yet found his body- Kagura-chan? Where-?"

Before Gin could finish his sentence, Kagura had run out of the room. Looking out of the window, they could see her running as fast as she could, clutching her purple parasol.

" Kagura-chan… Should we go after her, Gin-san?"

" No, let her be… I get how she feels now. She'll be alright, I know- no, I hope so…"

Kagura finally stopped in front of the Shinsengumi headquarters. Panting heavily, she stopped to take in what Gin-chan had told her.

" _I…Sougo-kun is dead. That was Hijikata inviting us to his funeral tomorrow."_ " _It was an accident. He was trapped in a burning warehouse. They haven't yet found his body…"_

 _No freaking way. That sadist can't be dead, right? It must have been a misunderstanding, right? Aargh! Why the hell am I so worked up over this?! What do I care if he's dead? He always annoys me and then he dares die before I beat him! How could he, I hate him!_

"China? What are you doing here?" It was Hijikata.

"Mayora… Is it true that the sadist is gone? Nothing suspicious about it, anything?"

"No, it's true. Sougo really is in hell now. Unfortunately, there is no doubt about it. We found his broken katana and parts of his body with it."

"I see, I'll be leaving then."

Kagura sat on the empty swing in the playground, where she and that Sadist had fought so many times. Her thoughts swirled about like the sea during a storm, confused, distraught and turbulent.

 _That idiot sadist is really gone then, huh? Gone to hell… and I was the one who told him to. Damn you Sadist, didn't you say you'll never do anything I told you to do? So why the hell did you do it?! I can't believe I am so upset about him dying, why do I even care for a guy who's always been my rival, always mocked me, aargh, I don't have the patience to list all your terrible deeds now! But I wish you'd come back, please… I can't bear the fact that my last words to you were that I hated you and I wished that you'd go to hell. I want to tell you something nicer or happier… Like this, I'll always feel guilty… Curse you, stupid sadist, you made a maiden cry again!_

A single sparkling drop of water splashed onto the ground, followed by many others, as Kagura buried her head in her hands and wept. She wasn't sure why she was crying so hard but she knew that the only way she could somehow express all the feelings bottled up inside her was by crying.

The morning of Sougo's funeral arrived in due time. An atmosphere of heavy gloom prevailed over the Shinsengumi headquarters. The mortal remains of Okita Sougo were contained in a handsome coffin, along with his snapped katana. All the Shinsengumi, Matsudaira Totsan, even Sasaki Isaburou and Imai Nobume were present. In fact, the Shogun Shigeshige and his little sister Soyo themselves had turned, everyone somberly dressed in mourning attire. There were many other guests as well, such as Otae, Kyuubei, Toujou, etc. The Yorozuya were the last to turn up, Gin looking both serious and fish eyed at once, Shinpachi looking solemn and sad and Kagura with almost no expression and pursed lips.

The funeral service began and everyone bowed their heads in remembrance. The shoulders of a cheongsam wearing, red haired girl shook even as she bowed her head to hide her blue eyes which were filled with water.

A young man with sandy hair and red eyes watched the ongoing funeral, concealed in the roof, a spot from where he could see everyone without being seen by anyone. Sougo had to suppress a chuckle, watching your own funeral from the roof of the ceremony hall had its own amusements. Though he was beginning to feel a little bored, who the hell had arranged such a monotonous funeral for him? He wondered whether he should try haunting Hijikata-san and the others a little before making his grand entrance. Boy, he sure would love to see their faces when he reappeared from the dead, like a great magician!

Suddenly, his gaze fell on Kagura. _Ah, I wonder what China is thinking now? She is probably glad I'm gone… Hey why ever is my chest hurting at the thought? Hmm, her shoulders are quivering. Is it because she is laughing in glee? Or could it be, she's crying? Okay, there's no chance of that. Does she believe I'm dead? She might, I think I did a pretty good job of faking my death. Damn, I'm hungry, I haven't eaten much since that night, 'corpses' don't go to a restaurant to eat. Looks like it's time to pay respects… Guess I'll make my awesome entrance after haunting them, haha…._

His ghostly plans were suddenly disrupted by a soft sound. Kagura was crying and her muffled sobs were loud in the hushed silence of the room. Otae patted her carefully, unsure of how to console the crying girl. The older woman spoke softly," Kagura-chan, it's time you pay your last respects. Go say a last goodbye, Okita-kun is definitely watching us from far above, he'll hear you and all of us."

The girl walked slowly over to the coffin. But instead of lighting incense and performing the last rites, she clenched her fists and glared at the coffin, before shouting," **OI!** **Can you hear me from up there, Sadist?! Then listen carefully, damn it! How dare you die before I beat you?! Do you have any idea of how much you've made me cry, you heartless bastard?! I'm never going to forgive you, NEVER! Do you have any idea how guilty I felt because the last words I said to you were to go to hell and that I hated you! You stupid, insensitive, heartless, irritating SADIST!** I can't believe I actually like you now… just come back, _Sougo_ …" And she sank down on her knees in front of the coffin, tears dripping from her face.

Sougo could only watch in stunned silence as the others, persuaded by Otae, quietly left the hall, leaving Kagura alone to mourn. A bitter sense of guilt rose within him, watching her cry and knowing that he was the cause of all those tears. It was true that he was a sadist, but he realized that he had never really wanted to make his China cry like this. Therefore, it was his duty to wipe her tears, even though he was a stupid, insensitive, heartless and irritating sadist. Haunting could go to hell, wooing a Yato was going to be his next mission. He slipped down from his seat on the roof to the floor and softly walked over to Kagura, touching her shoulder gently and cautiously. She spun around at the touch, her azure eyes widening when she saw who it was.

Sougo definitely wasn't expecting a welcome back hug, so when he got a rib shattering punch which smashed him into the floor, he wasn't too surprised. Kagura stood over him, emitting a murderous aura and murmured in a voice scarier than her shout," So you were faking dead, were you, Sadist? You think it's funny to make others cry? Do you've any idea of what I've-" She halted, her cheeks reddening as she remembered all that she had shouted and the person in front of her had heard.

"Yeah, China, I heard. After all, you were shouting it out pretty loudly a few minutes ago' she gave him a death glare,' And I am sorry for all that. Though I guess sorry won't cut it. But I hope this makes up a little."

And he pulled her down over him and gently traced his fingers over her face, wiping away the tears lovingly. Seeing her blush redder than a tomato, he grinned mischievously and pulled her close, planting a passionate kiss on her lips. She soon kissed him back, smiling, though she still did look a little annoyed. They finally pulled apart, there was only so long that you could kiss without taking a breath.

Blue eyes gazed into red as they sat up on the floor, Sougo chuckling and Kagura looking annoyed and happy at the same time. He passed an arm about her shoulders, pulling her close. She nestled into his arms, feeling that all was right with the universe and that someone in the heavens had definitely heard her. Suddenly, a question popped up in her mind and she voiced it.

"Hey, Sadist, how did you even survive? Mayora said that there was no other way out…"

" So you really believed what that idiot said! Really China, don't you know me better? For one, I'd never listen to your orders, and besides, a puny blaze can't kill the 'Prince of the planet of sadists'. I just wanted to see what everyone's reactions would be if I 'died', so I just cut off my sleeve and stuffed a severed arm into it, along with my broken katana. But don't cry like that again, okay China?"

"Promise! You stupid sadist… I'll definitely kill you if you ever try this another time, get it? And don't ever leave like that again, okay Sadist?"

"Sure, that's a promise. Now shall we see how Danna and the others react when they see I'm alive?"

" They'll be killing you. Do not expect me to save you, you deserve it."

" Well, in that case, I'll just enjoy a few more moments with you. They'll find out soon enough."

They did find out soon enough, when Soyo and Nobume came to get Kagura, but as Hijikata put it, they decided to spare him for the sake of his girlfriend. Gintoki merely said that all beheading and stomach-slitting was postponed to the next opportunity, which wasn't going to be too far away.

And thus, everyone who had entered the hall with a downcast face that day left it with a happily smiling one, especially the new couple, who left it loudly arguing and throwing punches, but also smiling and laughing, with sparkling eyes.

A/N: So, this fanfic ends here. I hope you enjoyed it. As always, feel free to comment and criticize. Constructive criticism and your true appreciation are priceless! So do read, review, and enjoy!


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